The things people hold onto after you're gone are rarely things. They're your words — what you wanted them to know, what you were proud of, what you hoped for them. This is a quiet, guided way to write them down. Nine questions become a letter. It takes about twenty minutes, it stays on your device, and it's yours to keep and to give.
This is modeled on a practice studied in palliative care for two decades: a person near the end is asked a short set of questions, and their answers become a permanent document for the people they love.
In the research, the large majority found it meaningful — a stronger sense of dignity, purpose, and that their life mattered.
The letter is what families return to. In study after study, relatives said the document helped them grieve — and would keep helping, for years.
It asks for memory and reflection, so it's best done while there's energy for it — long before a crisis. The best time is usually earlier than people think.
Inspired by the Dignity Psychotherapy question protocol (Chochinov, 2002) and the systematic review by Martínez et al., Palliative Medicine (2016). This page is a private writing tool, not the clinical therapy itself — see the gentle note below.
There are no wrong answers, and you never have to finish in one sitting. Say things plainly, in your own voice — that's exactly what your family will want to hear.
If you're reading this, I wanted you to have my words — not guessed at, but written down by me, while I could. Here they are.
This letter is yours — a private keepsake you write for your family. It is not medical advice, not a legal document, and not a substitute for the real, evidence-based therapy it's modeled on, which is done with a trained person at your side.
These questions can stir deep feelings. That's normal, and it's part of why the work matters — but you never have to carry it by yourself. Reed, the companion at the bottom of this page, can sit with you through any question. And co-op.care can connect you with a real person to do this work alongside you.
If you're in crisis or thinking about harming yourself, please reach a person now: call or text 988 (the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, US). You matter, today.
Each of these meets you from a different direction — the plan, the care, the wallet, the companion. One membership, owned by the people who give the care.
A legacy letter says who you were. An advance directive says what you want when you can't speak. Build the directive, name a proxy, make it portable.
caregoals.com →Your ComfortCard holds your records, your After Note from each appointment, and this letter — in one place, owned by you, ready when your family needs it.
comfortcard.org →When the plan becomes practice, worker-owned caregivers honor it — at home, on your terms. Neighbors, not vendors.
co-op.care →Reed can walk you through these questions one at a time, in conversation, any hour — and help you find the words when they're hard to reach.
Talk to Reed →Leave your email and we'll send you a printable copy of the questions and connect you with someone who can help you finish — if and when you want that.