Doula training › Practice

Module 9 of 15 · Practice

Legacy work: their words, kept well

People near the end of life often want to leave something behind that is not money or property: a letter, a recorded voice, a story, a recipe. This module shows you how to help them do it in their own words, at their own pace, without steering it and without stepping into legal work.

About 60 minutesSelf-pacedNotes stay on your device

By the end you can

  • Summarise, in two or three sentences each, what studies of dignity therapy, life review and meaning-centered therapy found, including where results were mixed.
  • Explain to a family the difference between an ethical will and a legal will, and say who drafts the legal one.
  • Plan a legacy session that covers consent, pacing, recording permission, who owns the words, copies and where files are kept.
  • Use a short interview guide written for someone who tires quickly.
  • Name three signs that legacy work is drifting into conflict or into the doula's own interests, and what you do next.

Scope check for this module

A doula may

  • Ask open questions, listen, and write down or record the person's own words, with their permission.
  • Help with the practical side: a quiet room, a charged phone, paper, a photo box, a playlist.
  • Read a draft back and ask "Is this how you want it to sound?"
  • Help the person decide who receives which piece, and when.
  • Explain in plain words that an ethical will is not a legal document, and point to an attorney for legal ones.
  • Stop, pause or shorten a session whenever the person wants or seems tired.

Hand to the care team

  • Anything about a legal will, trust, beneficiaries, property or guardianship: an attorney.
  • Distress, low mood, hopelessness or talk of ending life that goes beyond ordinary sadness: the hospice or palliative team (social worker, nurse, physician). If there is any suicide risk, call or text 988.
  • Questions about whether a person with dementia can make a decision: the clinical team.
  • Skin safety before ink, paint or clay handprints on fragile skin: the nurse.
  • Old family rifts the work uncovers: the social worker or chaplain.
  • Formal dignity therapy or life-review therapy: a trained clinician. A doula does not deliver therapy.

What legacy work is, and what it is not

Legacy work means helping a person leave something of themselves for the people who come after: their story, their values, their voice, their advice, a joke they always told, a way of making bread. The output can be a letter, a recording, a small book, a box of labelled photos, a playlist, or a handprint. The point is that it comes from them.

It is not estate planning. It does not decide who gets the house. It is not therapy, even though some of the questions look like the questions used in therapies studied in palliative care. And it is not the doula's project. A good piece of legacy work sounds like the person who made it, not like the person who helped.

Some people want to do a lot of it. Some want to do none, and that is a complete answer. Never assume that someone who is dying "should" leave a letter. Offer once, clearly, and let them come back to it.

This site already has two tools a person can use on their own device: the Leave-a-Legacy letter, which turns nine questions into a letter, and the After Note, a blank page for words to be read later. Both pages say what they keep and where; read each page's own note before you suggest it, so you can describe it accurately. Some people will want to use them alone, and some will want you beside them.

The evidence, and its honest limits

You will hear claims that legacy work "heals" or "reduces suffering". The research is more careful than that, and you should be too. Most of the studies below tested therapies delivered by trained clinicians, not doulas. They tell us these conversations can matter to people. They do not tell us that a doula doing something similar will produce the same results.

Dignity therapy

Dignity therapy is a short, structured psychotherapy developed by Harvey Chochinov and colleagues in Canada. The person is invited to talk about the things that matter most or that they most want remembered. The conversation is recorded, transcribed and edited, and the person gets back a document they can leave to someone.

  • First study (2005). Terminally ill people in Winnipeg and Perth took part. There was no comparison group. Afterwards, 91% said they were satisfied, 76% reported a heightened sense of dignity, and 81% said it had helped or would help their family. Measures of suffering and depressive symptoms improved.
  • Randomised trial (2011). 441 people receiving palliative care in Canada, the USA and Australia were randomly assigned to dignity therapy, client-centred care, or standard palliative care. On the main outcomes, the different measures of distress, there were no significant differences between the groups. On the secondary outcomes, people who had dignity therapy were significantly more likely to say it had helped, improved their quality of life, increased their sense of dignity, changed how their family saw them, and helped their family. The authors wrote that its ability to reduce outright distress such as depression was not yet shown, but that the self-reported benefits supported using it.
  • Systematic review (2017). Martínez and colleagues reviewed 28 studies. Of five randomised trials, two included people with high distress at the start; one found drops in anxiety and depression and the other found a drop in anxiety only. Non-randomised studies suggested improvements, and patients, families and professionals said it improved the end-of-life experience. The reviewers called for more research on how it works and who benefits most.

So the fair summary is: people who take part usually value it and say it helps their families; whether it reduces clinical distress is mixed and may depend on how distressed the person is to begin with.

Life review

Life review means looking back over one's life in a guided way, often in chronological order. A 2015 systematic review of therapeutic life review in palliative care found 14 studies of 10 different interventions, delivered by psychologists, social workers and nurses in one to eight sessions. Eleven of the 14 reported significant results, but the reviewers said there were few studies, dropout was 12% to 50% because participants became too ill or died, and stronger studies were needed before these interventions are adopted into practice.

Meaning-centered approaches

Meaning-centered group psychotherapy, studied by a team at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, is an eight-session group that helps people with advanced cancer explore sources of meaning. In a trial of 253 people, it did better than a supportive group on spiritual well-being, quality of life, depression, hopelessness and desire for hastened death among those who came to at least three sessions. When everyone assigned was counted, the benefits held for quality of life, depression and hopelessness, but not the other outcomes. This is a clinician-led therapy over weeks; it is here to show you that meaning is taken seriously in palliative care, not as a model for a doula visit.

Lay helpers

One small study is closer to a doula's position. In an Alabama trial, retired senior volunteers made three home visits to palliative care patients and their family caregivers to do reminiscence and a creative legacy activity. Of 45 pairs who started, 28 completed the post-visit measures. Patients in the volunteer group reported bigger drops in emotional symptoms, and caregivers scored higher on a meaning-in-life item; only one effect lasted to follow-up. It is encouraging and small. It is not proof.

ApproachWho delivered it in studiesWhat was foundWhat it does not tell you
Dignity therapyTrained therapistsHigh satisfaction; family benefit reported; no difference in distress in the large trialThat a doula's version reduces depression or distress
Life reviewPsychologists, social workers, nursesPromising results in few studies; high dropoutWhich version works, for whom
Meaning-centered group therapyClinicians, eight group sessionsBetter than a supportive group on several outcomesAnything about a single home visit
Volunteer reminiscence and legacyRetired lay volunteersSmall benefits in a small trialWhether it lasts or generalises

How to talk about this with a family: "People often find this meaningful, and many families treasure what comes out of it. It is not a treatment, and it is fine not to do it."

Forms a doula can help with

Offer a short menu, not a programme. Most people pick one thing. Matching the form to the person's energy matters more than matching it to an idea of what a legacy "should" be.

FormWhat it isGood forWatch for
LettersA letter to one person or to everyoneSomeone who likes to write, or can dictateWriting can tire the hand; offer to scribe
Ethical willA statement of values, lessons, hopes and blessingsSomeone who wants to pass on what they believeIt is not a legal will (see below)
Recorded stories and voiceAudio or video of the person talkingLow energy, poor eyesight, strong storytellersPermission to record, and from anyone else heard
Photo and recipe booksLabelled photos; recipes in their words or handwritingFamilies who gather around food or picturesLabelling names and dates before memory fades
Handprints and keepsakesPrints, a lock of hair, a chosen object with a noteChildren and grandchildrenAsk the nurse before ink, paint or clay on fragile skin
PlaylistsSongs the person chooses, with a line on whyMusic lovers; people with memory lossThe person chooses, not the family
"What I want you to know" listShort lines: practical, funny, lovingVery tired people; a few words at a timeKeep it theirs; do not polish it
Messages for future milestonesBirthday, graduation, wedding or new-baby messagesPeople with young children or grandchildrenAgree who holds them and when each is given

Ethical will and legal will are different things

An ethical will (also called a legacy letter) passes on values, wisdom and personal messages. It has a long history, including Jewish tradition, and can be a letter, a short memoir or a recording. Ethical wills are not legally binding and cannot be enforced in court.

A legal will is a legal document that states how a person's estate is to be managed and distributed after death. It has to meet the formal requirements of the law where it is made or where the person lives, such as being in writing and signed, with witnesses; the details vary by state.

A doula never drafts, edits or "fills in" a legal will, trust, deed or beneficiary form, and does not tell anyone what a legal document means. If the person starts talking about who should get what, say something like: "That sounds important to get right legally. Would you like help finding an attorney, or should I let the social worker know?" Then write it in your notes as a referral, not as a task you took on. If you are asked to sign as a witness on a legal document for a client, decline and leave that to the attorney, who will arrange witnesses. Keep the two documents separate on paper too: do not put instructions about property into an ethical will, because a family may read it as if it were binding.

Running a session

Legacy work touches deep feelings and personal information. The practical agreements you make before you start protect the person and protect you.

Before you start: agree six things

  1. Consent. "Would you like to do this today? We can stop any time, and you can change your mind about any of it later." Consent can change from visit to visit; ask each time.
  2. Pace. Agree how long you will sit, and plan to stop before that. Ask the nurse or family which time of day the person is usually most alert; do not adjust or time medicines yourself.
  3. Recording. Ask before you press record, say out loud when you start and stop, and get permission from anyone else whose voice will be on it.
  4. Who owns the words. The person does. You are a scribe. You do not keep, share, quote or post their words, and you never use them to promote your practice.
  5. Copies. Agree who gets a copy, how many, and in what form (paper, audio file, printed book).
  6. Where files live. Agree where the files are kept (for example, on the person's own phone and one family member's computer), and that your working copy is handed over and then deleted from your devices. More on this in Privacy, records and safety.

During: follow, do not lead

  • Ask one short question at a time. Wait. Silence is often the person thinking.
  • Use their words when you write. If they say "your mum was a firecracker", do not change it to "your mother was spirited".
  • Do not add your own wisdom, favourite quotes or spiritual framing. If they ask what you think, you can answer briefly and hand it back: "What would you want to say about it?"
  • Watch for tiredness: long pauses, eyes closing, shorter answers, losing the thread. Stop early and say when you will come back. A half-finished message recorded today is worth more than a perfect one planned for next week.
  • If deep distress appears, put the project down and be present. Afterwards, tell the care team what you saw (with the person's knowledge), rather than trying to work it through yourself.

After: read back, then let go

Read or play the draft back, ideally at the next visit. Ask: "Is this how you want it to sound? Is there anything to take out?" Let them change it, keep it private, or destroy it. Then hand over the files as agreed and delete your copies. Write in your own notes only what you did (for example "legacy session, 20 minutes, audio handed to daughter"), not the content.

The interview guide

Use this guide when you want a little structure. Choose two or three questions, not all of them. Every question is short and can be answered in a sentence. You can copy it onto a single sheet, or print this page and keep the part with the guide.

PartAsk (one at a time)If they are tired
Opening"Who would you like this to be for?""Just one name is fine."
Story"What is a time you were really happy?""Just the place, or the people."
People"What do you want them to know about you?""One thing is enough."
Pride"What are you proud of?""Big or small."
Advice"What have you learned that you want to pass on?""A few words."
Hopes"What do you hope for them?""Say it as if they were here."
Closing"Is there anything you want to say that I have not asked?""We can stop here. I will read it back next time."
Practical"Who should have this, and when?"Ask the person; if they cannot say, note it and ask at the next visit.

These questions are written for this course. They are not the protocol used in dignity therapy, and using them is not delivering dignity therapy.

Protecting the person

Legacy work gives you close access to a person's memories, relationships and sometimes their money and possessions. That closeness is a risk, and the rules below are fixed, not matters of judgement.

  • Never steer content that benefits you. No suggestions that they mention you, thank you, recommend you, or leave you anything.
  • Never solicit gifts. If a person offers you a gift, money or a bequest, decline kindly. If they insist, tell your supervisor or the agency you work with, and write it down.
  • Never draft a will or any legal or financial document, even "just typing what they said". Refer to an attorney.
  • Never use their words or images for your website, social media, teaching or marketing, even with names removed, unless the person gave clear written permission for that exact use. The simplest rule: do not ask.
  • Never hold the only copy. The family should never need you to get their person's words back.

These points are covered more fully in Ethics, boundaries and hard topics.

When conflict surfaces

Legacy work can bring old hurts to the surface. Two situations come up often.

A letter the person may later regret. Someone dictates an angry letter to a sibling. It is their right to say what they feel. It is also fair to ask one gentle question: "How do you want this to land for them?" Offer choices: keep it sealed for a while, write a second version, or keep it private. If they still want it sent, it is their decision; you do not become the courier of a message you have reason to think could cause harm without talking it through with the care team first. Reconciliation work belongs with the social worker or chaplain.

Family who do not want the story told. A son says, "Dad is not to talk about the divorce." The person's own story is theirs to tell. Other people's private details are more delicate. You can help the person decide what goes into which piece and who receives it: a version for everyone and a private letter to one person, for example. If the disagreement becomes a family conflict, step back from the middle and bring in the social worker. You do not decide between family members. Family and caregiver support covers this in more depth.

Dementia and legacy

When a person has dementia, legacy work often shifts from what they can tell you to what can be gathered with them and around them. It is still their legacy. Keep them in the room and in the conversation as much as they are able.

Photographs and reminiscence

Reminiscence means talking about the past using prompts such as photographs or music. A 2018 Cochrane review of 22 trials found the effects in people with dementia were inconsistent and often small, differing by setting and format, with some benefit on quality of life in care homes and small benefits on cognition and mood for individual sessions. No harmful effects on the person with dementia were found. In plain terms: looking at photographs together can be a pleasant, low-risk way to spend time and gather stories, but it is not a treatment.

Practical tips: use a few photos at a time; name the people in them yourself rather than quizzing ("This looks like your wedding day") so the person is never put on the spot; write down what they say about each photo in their words; label names and dates while family members still remember.

Music

A 2025 Cochrane review notes that receptivity to music may remain until the late phases of dementia. Across 30 trials, music-based interventions compared with usual care probably improved depressive symptoms slightly and may have improved overall behaviour at the end of treatment, with no evidence of lasting effects. A playlist of songs the person loved is a gentle legacy piece and a comfort; it is not music therapy, which is delivered by trained therapists.

Consent when memory is changing

Whether someone can make a particular decision is a clinical question. You do not assess it. In practice, look for the person's own agreement in the moment (they seem willing and at ease) and respect any sign that they do not want to continue. Follow what the person said earlier about privacy and recordings if it is known, and involve the family or the person's health care agent where they already have that role. Anything that looks like a decision about property or money goes to an attorney and the clinical team, not into a legacy project.

Case: four good days and one message

Ruth is 71 and receiving hospice care at home. She tells you, "I think I have about four good days left in me, and I want to record something for my granddaughter's wedding." The granddaughter is 15. Ruth's voice is weak and she falls asleep mid-sentence in the afternoons. Her daughter is enthusiastic and has written a list of twelve things "Mum should say". Ruth's phone is old and nearly full. You have one visit booked this week.

What would you do first? Decide, write a sentence in the box below, then open the discussion.

Discussion: one reasonable path, and the traps

First, ask Ruth, privately, what she wants the message to be and who should hold it until the wedding. The daughter's list is a kind offer, but the message is Ruth's; you can say, "Ruth, your daughter wrote some ideas. Would you like to hear them, or would you rather start with your own?"

Prepare so the recording itself is short. Before the visit, check that a phone with space is ready (a family member's is fine if Ruth agrees), and ask the nurse which time of day Ruth is usually most alert. Plan for morning if that is when she is clearest. Choose two questions from the guide, for example "What do you want her to know about you?" and "What do you hope for her?"

Record early, then improve. Get a few minutes recorded in the first sitting, even if it is imperfect. Stop when she tires. Play it back at once so she hears it exists. If there is energy another day, she can add to it; if not, what she said is enough.

Agree the practical part out loud: who keeps the file until the wedding, two copies in two places the family controls, and that you delete your copy after handing it over.

Traps: scripting her (reading out the daughter's twelve points for her to repeat); polishing her words into your style; running a long session because "there may not be another"; keeping a copy "just in case"; promising what the message will do for the granddaughter.

This case is invented for teaching. It is not based on a real person.

Check what you took in

Six questions. Answer, then check. The reasoning under each one is the real lesson.

1. In the 2011 randomised trial of dignity therapy, what happened to the main measures of distress?
Why

Answer: c. The primary distress outcomes did not differ between groups. The secondary, self-reported outcomes favoured dignity therapy: people said it helped them and their families. Option a is the claim people often make, and it is not what the trial found. Say it accurately.

2. A person asks you to type up "who gets the house and the car" at the end of their ethical will. What do you do?
Why

Answer: b. An ethical will passes on values and cannot be enforced in court. Putting property instructions into it can mislead the family later. Drafting a legal will is legal work, whatever template you use. Refer to an attorney.

3. Who owns the words in a legacy letter you scribed?
Why

Answer: a. You are a scribe. The person decides who sees the words, how many copies exist, and whether they are kept at all. You never keep, quote or publish them.

4. Midway through recording, the person's answers get shorter and their eyes keep closing. What is the best move?
Why

Answer: d. A short, true recording is better than a long, forced one. Option c puts your words in their mouth. Tiredness is a signal to stop, and the time of day that suits them is a question for the nurse, not a reason to push.

5. A grateful client says she wants to leave you her piano in her will. What do you do?
Why

Answer: b. A doula never accepts or steers gifts or bequests. Being close to a dying person's possessions is a known risk, for them and for you. Option c moves the same problem into a different document.

6. For a person with advanced dementia, which statement about photos and music fits the evidence?
Why

Answer: c. Cochrane reviews found small, inconsistent effects for reminiscence, and small end-of-treatment effects for music with no evidence of long-term effects. No review showed they slow dementia. Use them for their own sake, not as treatment.

Reflect

Only you can see this. It is saved in this browser on this device and is never sent anywhere. If this browser blocks storage, it will not be kept.

All modules

Where this comes from

Study figures are as reported in each paper's published abstract. The interview questions on this page were written for this course and are not taken from any therapy protocol.

This training is education, not a credential. Finishing it does not certify, license or accredit anyone, and it does not qualify anyone for any job or payment. A doula is a non-clinical helper and does not give medical, nursing, legal, tax or financial advice. Quality Death has not vetted every program or organization named here. In crisis or thinking about suicide, call or text 988. In an emergency, call 911.